Keith Buster Torkelson's Old.2 Prose
12Step_PoemByKET_GodIsnt2008101104
V2024
In: 12-Step folder
For Now God Isn’t
By: Keith Edward Torkelson, MS
Rough Started: October 11, 2008
I’ve been trying to
Discover and
Determine what
God isn’t
I don’t think
He is the unit
Though he is in
The unit
I don’t think he is
The unit but
He is about the unit
Being the unit
Myself
I see trances
Of omnipotence in me
Yet,
I the unit
Am not omnipotent
If I see
Outside me
The unit
I look to
Not see the unit
I am part of
But about the unit
Is not equipotent
I the unit
Me
Achieves stillness
Or stasis
I have trouble
Seeing where I’ve been
Where God’s been
I cannot see
Where I am going or vision
Where God’s going or on mission
In this manner God
May be part of the
Moving or dynamic
If I look at
The past & the future
Only I lose touch
With were I am
And in this part
God is about the still or
Static
God may be All
When he is not
Something
And
Everything
God may everything
But he is
Not always all or
Nothing
God may be nothing
And not anything
God isn’t easy
God is a hard
Perpetrator to pin down
a:
PoemAntsAndBugsByKETc1979
V2024
ANTS
& BUGS
By TORK
(Circa:
1979)
In
at eight, shouldn’t be late
On
the road in a few
Chevy,
Ford, VW
If
we only knew
Californians
want, yet don’t need you
REDCAR,
REDCAR
L.A.
& Huntington knew
Why
not you?
OTTO
on the road
Cruisin
with a load
H.P.
says 5-5 tops
and
never on hops
Insurance
costs are high
So
why don’t we fly?
Many
do
Why
not you?
ALL
in ALL
While
OPEC stand tall
Our
system may fall
Let’s
introduce gas-O-hol
Electric,
Solar, or...
Something
safer
REDCAR,
REDCAR
L.A.
& Huntington knew
Why
not you?
OTTO
says ought--to sow the seeds
Ought--to
stop and sway the combustion
OTTO
look
Ought-to
think REDCAR
OTTO
smell the smog
Listen
to the noise
If
you can...
PoemByKET_Happen20000118 V2024
WHAT HAS HAPPENED?
By Keith Torkelson
January 18, 2000
I am asking a part of me
With as much as I have learned now
About me
And mine
Why am I clueless?
In identifying
The nature of
The profound changes
That are occurring
This is now
Yet
Noting in the past
I believe
That
God may have happened
My friends
Those I lusted with
Faithful animals
Plants that yield the gas of life
What the hell is going on?
Please guide me
When you can
Guide me to healing
That I may function anew
Not so much a repeat
More a revision
A reformation
Accessing love energy
To reclaim the best
And order the rest
Exercise my
Spirit and mind
My body and emotions
In accord with
The mainstream
Under the authority of recovery
PoemByKET_JustRight19980127 V2024
THE ONE WHO FEELS JUST RIGHT
By KE Torkelson
January 27, 1998
Oh!
Lord
Hear these words
Of mine
Today I am looking
For love
I have been searching
All my life
From the day I open my eyes
Lately I discovered
That you Lord
May be the one
I needed and need
The most
Oh! Lord
Hear these words
Of mine
Offer me patience
Infinite
Because I just feel
The best
Is yet to come
In time will you
Show me
“The Way”
And your way
You I believe are
The One
All
The one who feels
Just – Right
Amen
PoemByKET_Law_09100403 V2024
In: Deliverables or Poetry folder: Initial: 2009100403
Law and
His Sister Order
By: Keith Edward Torkelson, MS
October 4, 2009
Don’t know where to start
Tell tale knowledge of their arts
When only you are up against him
Hopefully she will help you address
Your sins
I doodle legally a bit with that
Scale thing
The O-Haus of Justice
I’m leaning a bit more
To the Right
In the face of The Others’
Might
Making many more decisions
Of Good
In the face of Should
And Could
Or What If?
What if you are held
Accountable for your thoughts
Or lack thereof
What if you had Freedom to
Act on The Solution
Remember the men
With the solutions
Crimelessness
Cause no one goes foodless
And a gal named sanction
Thou shall kill ignited in
A flame of war
I did my best in this to avoid
Law
Including the upper class litigators
As Ecclesiastes may be paraphrased
It is all blown in the wind
Yet, fear God
Fear Law
And follow Order … Straight
Again, the hammer may
Fall
Yet, not by my hand
Khan 2
It appears God may have contracted out
While the stage remains dark and clear
For “The Splitting” by Christ
A-People – Team Earth
Did anyone hear any dinosaur talking again?
PoemByKET_TheyCome20000101 (5) v2024
They Come
By Keith Torkelson
January 1, 2000 (Tuesday)
They come
When I urinate
I think some of them miss it
They come
At times
When I eat
He
That bad guy
Has come for Sunday lunch
Leaves me
All torn up
They come
I think
Even at times
When I sleep
And then they
Just come
Whenever
My guard is down
They are
The passed
Expired
Released
The dead
They are also
Those that never
Were
Those that could be
And those that
Most believe are not
They Come, it is Real
Tracking
Information
PoemByKET_Whisper_100424a
V2024
<<<<
a:deafsnd19971210_Short >>> In: Poetry folder
Initial:
19971210: Shortened: 20100424:
Shorten version of DeafSound for MHSA/Wellness
Center calendar
Now new poem called “Whisper”
Whisper
[Author: KE Torkelson:
12-10-97: Shortened & modified: 20100424]
Word
count = 43, includes title
Into words
The
ways we feel
Reminded
in daily living
Quietly meditating, reframing
In
permeated connection
Our
warm embraces
Reigned
upon our journeys
Developing,
growing, performing
For
our betterment
Knowing
eternal peace
In
your hands
With
deafening sound
Whispering,
we love you
a:
PoemByKETAlone19971101 V2024
FEELING LONELY?
By: Keith E Torkelson
November 1, 1997
Alone again?
You could call a friend
You could go out and visit
people
Or you could go to your group
Is it loneliness?
Or some other feeling
Have you had enough sleep?
Temptation to mood alter, can
you resist?
Are you sad or mad?
Do you feel hurt?
Have you eaten enough so you
are not hungry?
Alone in a crowd
Is sleeping with her the
cure?
Content?
I think I know an answer?
I AM YOUR LOVING GOD
I AM WITH YOU NOW
ASK ME FOR THE HELP YOU NEED
BE NEVER ALONE AGAIN.
PoemByKETBeatenDawg2006102001
V2024
Doc.
20061020.01
In:
Poem folder
Poem:
Anger Stimulates the
Beaten Dog
(Page 6 of 2006 to
2007 in patient notebook)
By: Keith Edward
Torkelson, MS
Drafted: October 20,
2006
I’m checked into Westminster Residential Therapeutic Center
(WTRC)
It is October of the year
Make note some of my closest relatives are against me
My aunt, first cousins, and siblings
Basically, my environment has not integrally improved
My most loved one and significant other, Joan
Is angry with me
And may still be afraid of me
I’m feeling a bit like a beaten dog
Cowering my eyes as once trusted others approach
Yet, now part of me wishes to go home
Back to the same
As they say, insanity is trying the same thing
Expecting different results
Yet at home, Joan’s home now
I have Ms. Bunny Rabbit (MBR)
I wish to see her one more time before she dies
Even if I risk jail, due to my overbalance of fear
Now my providers are voting for me
To enter the Conservatorship loop
To land a conservator for the first time
If I feel terrified of meeting a train that doesn’t let up
I may just be safest permanently locked down
If this occurs, I desire
Electro-convulsive therapy (ECT) to burn out the pain, the
fear, the phobia
No not that, I’m changing my mind again
I want to: Go …
Back home to start anew
Back with Joan
Back with my materials
An hopefully not back to suffer Joan’s anger on me
Please Joan, bring me my wallet that's astray
Containing my basic identity and tools
When you next visit me at WTRC
Westminster Residential Therapeutic Center
PoemByKETBeing19990706 v2024
System Crash and the Nature of Being
By Keith Torkelson
July 6, 1999
I invite your being
To visit again
We share space
I can’t see you anymore
Because you’re passed the point
Of unlikely return
I ask you
Is this His water you drink?
Do you release it changed?
In composition
As we do
Here in 3D
You move towards
Me for a day
Then passing
He let you die
I dream in no pain
We remain behind
In this potential
Heaven on Earth
You awaken
In a new home
In his
Holy Kingdom
We remaining here
Sleeping
While you celebrate
Release and
Meditate
On his principles
You might feel
We taste
You may touch
We smell
Do you still hear?
I believe I am
Beginning to see
My nature of being
We are A-men
Short lived
Possibly eternal
Know in a manner
I loved you
As I loved no
Other
PoemByKETCatPurrs20001031 V2024
Kitten Purrs
By Keith Torkelson
October 31, 2000 (Tuesday, 11:55am)
I awoke this morning
With my kitten
A real pal
He is
This kitty
Who maybe I will name
Serenity
I watched the sky
Clear to blue and
Crystal clear after a rainstorm
She is out there
The beauty I need
The girl to share
My bed and home
And my peculiar wealth
I’m needing love
With which I
Will kiss her carmine lips
Caress her spirit
Will listen and learn
Of her odyssey on this rock
Our mom, Earth
I will offer a rose
Smelling so sweet
A rose of white it shall be
For purity
Then propose in my manner
To commit for life
To care
And be kind to her
Her name is “True”
She can stand alone
Though she reaches
Over to me
For > Honesty > Loyalty
For Patience
I can tell her what I feel
For real
Glad
Sometimes mad
I’m hoping to never hurt her
Yes that is my ideal
With her I will dwell in
Yet another house
A home in a home of
Of God the Father
I ask him to
Give me away
And may we discover love
Everlasting
Not even in
Death
Do Us Part
Cause we will then
Be one and another
In the kingdom
My queen
And I
The woman of my dream
Now back
To that
Cat
That sits purring on my chest
A slip this was into
A dream of the day
A daydream
PoemByKETDonotLaugh20020830
V2024
YOU DON’T LAUGH
By Keith Torkelson
August 30, 2002
Never really laughed much
Remembering comedy
And comedians
At The Laugh Stop
In Newport
They could get me
To laugh
Laugh
Till
My gut ached
I don’t laugh much
Anymore
I think laughing
Really stopped
For the
Haldol Man
And the
Navane Crawley Man
Right now
It is August
Thirtieth
Two thousand
And two
Though
I don’t laugh
Much
I have a lot to be
Happy about
Yet I wish I could really
Let out a good healthy
Hearty
Laugh!
PoemByKETDyingDog20040104 V2024
THE DYING DOG
By Keith Torkelson
January 4, 2004
I really wish to die
Actually be euthanized
Tonight at eleven pm
I have a simple request
That the mediator
Provide me with a dying dog
No
It’s not the dog that is dying
It’s a dog to die with
To hold during the passage
So I may feel in my
Last
Warmth and comfort
Peace and calm
And in the final moments
Relieve my life’s pain
Miraculously she takes
What not they have offered to bare
As she nestles
Near my heart
I’m thinking right now
That the
Dying dog, a girl
Small dog
Lovable and loving dog
Is with what I wish
To release, pass
And dissociate
To die with something
From which I can feel
Real love
From her
This dying dog
Now to God I pray
Please send me my
Dying dawg
And a skilled euthanist
Now
Before hell returns
As losing control
Of my mind, heart, body, and soul
Amen
PoemByKETGirlGone20020801 V2024
NO GIRL! GONE!
By Keith Torkelson
August 1, 2002
I called my girl
Joan
A moment ago
Eight ‘o five AM
She answered
I said, Hi!
She said,
I know you are real
busy
Starting your new
life
I am starting
My new life
This morning
She said,
I wish you the best
Of luck
Keith…
Then a click
And she hung up
I feel lousy
Very sad
Tears forming in my
Eyes
Why did she do that?
Cause she was
afraid?
That I would do it
Maybe
Joan
I hurt before you
Got hurt with you
I try not to hurt others
Cause I am hurting
As you have
I actually liked her
At times wanted
To be
With her
Till the end…
No comments:
Post a Comment