Contents
- Requirements
- Assessment List
- Open-ended Assignment
- Patient needs boundaries to be set especially with females
- Interpersonal Boundary Structures
- Why share your transgressions? I of II
- What is Catharsis?
- Dr. Chandler’s Position
- Why share the transgressions of others? II of II
- Working someone else’s program
- Why share your lived experience as a victim of violence?
- Domestic violence and the male victim (ResearchGate)
- Barometers – The Cats
- The Cat – Joan’s Cat by Buster
- It’s hard to criticize your loved one
- Why is it hard to admit you were an abused male?
- Insignificant Domestic Violence
- Girl on Dude
- Abuse by female on male - It could have been worse
- Predisposition - Does abuse as a child set you up for abuse later in life?
- Examples of Gals (Females) I had Solid Boundaries With
- Lived Experiences
- Theft & Intimacy (Written by Buster)
- Assessment Related Codes (Acronyms)
- Most Significant Other – Routine Harmony
- Violence Resolution Score 15 Items (HSF)
- Violence & Closure 13 Items Score (HSF)
- Level of Violence 10 Items (LSF)
- Girl on Dude Impact 13 Items (LSF)
- Cognitive Behavioral Targeting Abuse Score 13 Items (LSF)
- Abuse Impact Score 15 Items (LSF)
- Unexpected Support
- FYI - The Dyn Project: Supporting Men Experiencing Domestic Abuse (93 Pages)
- Violence
- Mistaken Belief Score 8 Item Screener
- Aside PUT = Poena Universalis Terminalis
- Afterlife
- Domestic Violence and Minors
- Transitional-aged Youth and Domestic Violence
Related to Ravinder P Singh MD (RPS) Studies on Boundaries
Concentrated on Most Significant Other Ever (MSOE) JNZ
Assessments
- Violence Resolution Score 15 Items (HSF)
- Violence & Closure 13 Items Score (HSF)
- Level of Violence 10 Items (LSF)
- Girl on Dude Impact 13 Items (LSF)
- Cognitive Behavioral Targeting Abuse Score 13 Items (LSF)
- Abuse Impact Score 15 Items (LSF)
The Open-ended Assignment
Combine Nurse Martha Gil and Dr. Ravinder P Singh MD (2007)
Martha somewhere between 2012 and 2018 suggested Domestic Violence or Abuse might be important to us.
Long Term Relationship Survey (Joan & Buster)
20130725 = Percent that relationship is working for us = 74.2% (Paper version)
In House > Metadata > Reco_SCR_13080101_LTRS (Electronic version)
Patient needs boundaries to be set especially with females
Setting clear boundaries for a patient—especially regarding interactions with females—requires defining specific professional and behavioral limits, communicating expectations directly, and maintaining consistent follow-through to ensure a safe, therapeutic environment. Setting clear personal boundaries helps protect your time, emotional well-being, and mutual respect in any interaction. Clear limits prevent misunderstandings and foster healthier, more predictable dynamics. Opinions on interpersonal boundary structures can vary, with some online discussions on platforms like Reddit noting that holding firm limits communicates self-respect.
Interpersonal Boundary Structures
Interpersonal boundary structures are the personal limits and rules we establish to define safe, comfortable, and healthy interactions with others.
Types of Boundaries
Physical:
Protects your personal space, body, and comfort levels regarding touch.
Emotional:
Manages how much emotional energy you share or absorb from others.
Time: Controls how your schedule and availability are respected to prevent burnout.
Intellectual:
Safeguards your thoughts, beliefs, and opinions from dismissal or disrespect.
Material:
Dictates how your personal possessions and property are shared.
Digital/Communication:
Defines response expectations and limits regarding phone and online availability.
Structural Styles
Healthy:
Balanced and flexible; allows appropriate intimacy while clearly communicating personal needs.
Rigid:
Overly defensive; keeps people at a distance to completely avoid vulnerability or rejection.
Porous:
Weak or absent; leads to oversharing, difficulty saying "no," and taking on others' problems.
Why share your transgressions? I of II
Sharing your transgressions or confessing your wrongs breaks the heavy burden of isolation, brings emotional and spiritual healing, and builds deep trust in a community. When people keep mistakes hidden, it often leads to personal stress and guilt, but opening up allows for shared support and grace.
Healing and Relief
End secrecy:
Hiding a wrong gives it power over you; speaking it out loud takes away that dark control.
Relieve stress:
Keeping secrets can make you feel heavy and tired; honesty brings light and peace to your mind and body.
Connection and Growth
Build community:
Sharing struggles with a safe, trusted friend helps you feel understood rather than alone.
Find support:
When others know your faults, they can pray for you, encourage you, and help you do better next time.
Grow humble:
Admitting a mistake stops pride and keeps your heart soft and honest
What is Catharsis?
Catharsis is the process of releasing strong or repressed emotional tension, which results in a deep sense of relief, renewal, or restoration.
Origins and Core Meaning
Greek Root:
The word comes from the ancient Greek word katharsis, which means "cleansing" or "purification".
Literal History:
It originally described physical cleansing or purging. In medicine, it can still refer to purging the body.
Figurative Shift:
Over time, the meaning shifted to describe an emotional or spiritual purge.
Key Contexts
In Literature and Drama:
Ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle used catharsis to describe how an audience member purges negative emotions like pity and fear by watching a tragic play.
In Psychology:
Therapists like Sigmund Freud used the term for the therapeutic release of unconscious, pent-up, or repressed trauma and anxiety by bringing those feelings to the surface.
In Everyday Life:
It describes any powerful emotional release—such as a long cry, a heavy workout, or creating art—that leaves a person feeling refreshed and balanced.
Dr. Chandler’s Position (Kaiser)
In one appointment with Dr. Chandler I told him that I was going to share my transgressions. He advised me not to do it. So instead of full transparency we apply guarded transparency.
Why share the transgressions of others? II of II
Sharing the transgressions of others is generally driven by motives like warning others, seeking justice, or processing pain, but it often risks harming reputations and deepening conflict.
Reasons People Share
Protection:
Warning a community or trusted friend about repeated harmful behavior to prevent future harm.
Validation:
Seeking outside perspective or emotional support when dealing with a painful hurt.
Accountability:
Bringing hidden wrongdoing to light so that justice or proper correction can occur.
Risks and Dangers
Gossip and Detraction:
Unnecessarily exposing someone's private failures damages their dignity without a valid reason.
Escalation:
Publicly sharing faults often increases bitterness and stops true reconciliation between the people involved.
Complicity:
Spreading unverified or malicious stories can unfairly pull others into the original wrongdoing or conflict.
Pulling someone’s covers
Confronting their harmful behaviors, denial, or self-deception with honest feedback to help them grow. It is not meant to shame, but to reveal blind spots.
Working someone else’s program
"Working someone else’s program" usually means following a recovery routine or set of 12 Steps given to you by a sponsor or mentor.
Recovery and 12-Step Programs
Sponsor guidance:
Most users on SoberRecovery reach a consensus that following a sponsor's direction helps keep you on track.
Listening and learning:
You read the guide book, go to meetings, and do what the other person suggests based on their own success.
Staying humble:
Letting go of your own way helps you learn new habits from someone who has been sober longer
Guarded Transparency
Guarded transparency is a strategic approach that balances open communication with the protection of sensitive information, such as national security, proprietary data, or personal privacy. It relies on controlled disclosure, selective sharing, and tiered access rather than absolute openness (absolute truth).
Absolute Truth
Absolute truth is something that is true at all times and in all places, no matter the circumstances. Unchanging: It never shifts or fades over time. Universal: It applies to everyone everywhere. Independent: It does not depend on human opinions, feelings, or cultures.
Why share your lived experience as a victim of violence?
Sharing lived experience as a victim of violence helps survivors regain control, fosters personal healing through catharsis, and breaks the silence surrounding abuse. By transforming pain into power, it educates the public, reduces stigma, and validates the experiences of others, offering hope to those currently in abusive situations.
Domestic violence and the male victim (ResearchGate)
Domestic Violence - Jun 25, 2025
Over the past few decades, 'domestic violence' has been defined as violence by men against women and children, and women's violence against their male partners has been considered to be either non-existent, or the fault of men, or has been trivialized and justified in a variety of ways. This paper challenges this notion of abuse against males and, using data from a study of men abused by their female partners, argues that domestic violence against males exists, that their voices are not heard; and that the refusal to acknowledge the existence of this form of abuse is part of a fundamental disempowerment of men which has arisen from a tacit acceptance in society of the radical feminist agenda. The paper concludes that domestic violence is not an issue of gender, and that official policy should be directed to providing the kind of help for abused men which up until now has been available only to women.
Barometers – The Cats
Pets as indicators of harmony in the house
Pets act as living barometers of household harmony through behavioral cues, reflecting emotional tension or peace. Key indicators include relaxed body language, stable routines, and peaceful spatial sharing.
Behavioral Signs of a Harmonious Home
Relaxed postures:
Animals sleeping stretched out, back-to-back, or in open areas without hyper-vigilance.
Stable appetites:
Consistent eating patterns and predictable engagement with daily play.
Social cohesion:
Mutual grooming, soft eyes, and loose, wiggly movements during interspecies or human interaction.
Signs of Disharmony or Stress
Destructive habits:
Sudden scratching, chewing, or indoor elimination signaling pent-up tension.
Hiding or hyper-attachment:
Pets excessively shadowing one person or constantly hiding in specific corners to escape household energy.
Reactivity:
Unprovoked growling, hissing, or startling at ordinary household noises.
The Cat – Joan’s Cat by Buster
Joan and I lived together (2005-2007) at Pasadena Village Apartments. Together we found what came to be Joan’s cat (Mystik) one day as abandoned on the Pasadena property. He started out good yet grew over time to be angry. My pet was Ms. Bunny Rabbit. In late 2006 she died of a neurological condition. Joan buried her on the property.
The Love Bird
My cat – HD Double D Dawg – Lay back, peaceful and cool. Well developed
Joan’s last cat with me scratching his cheek
It’s hard to criticize your loved one
It is inherently difficult to criticize a loved one because the goal is to improve behavior without damaging the connection or damaging their self-worth. Criticism often feels personal and hurtful, whereas effective communication relies on expressing needs without blame, focusing on specific actions rather than character flaws.
Why is it hard to admit you were an abused male?
Traditionally, intimate partner violence is portrayed as a woman's issue, with men cast as perpetrators. This stigma leads to a dangerous silence, as many men feel embarrassed or even ashamed to admit they're being hurt by their partners. The fear of not being believed--of being laughed at or ridiculed--runs deep.
What are the 5 signs of emotional abuse of a male?
- Recognizing Emotional Abuse
- Verbally humiliates you
- Demands all your attention
- Controls your time or who you see
- Blames you for everything that goes wrong
- Threatens to harm you, your children or family, or your pets
Insignificant Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is never legally or socially considered "insignificant," as the term generally refers to any form of physical, emotional, verbal, or economic abuse within a domestic relationship. However, in legal contexts, people sometimes use this phrasing when referring to offenses classified as "de minimis" infractions—minor physical contact (like a nudge or a scratch) that did not cause injury—or when discussing misdemeanor-level offenses versus felony charges.
Legal Classifications of Domestic Violence
Laws vary by jurisdiction, but domestic violence is typically categorized based on severity:
Misdemeanor Domestic Battery:
Involves intentional, unlawful physical contact that does not result in serious bodily injury. Even if a physical act seems minor, it is still treated as a criminal offense.
Felony Domestic Violence:
Charged when the incident involves severe bodily injury, the use of a deadly weapon, strangulation, or if the offender has prior domestic violence convictions.
Civil Protection Orders:
A victim can seek a restraining or protective order regardless of whether criminal charges are filed, based on a pattern of harassment, stalking, or threats.
Impact of "Minor" Incidents
From a psychological and safety standpoint, professionals emphasize that minor incidents often carry significant weight:
The Cycle of Abuse:
Small or isolated incidents frequently escalate into more severe physical or emotional harm over time.
Emotional Trauma:
Non-physical abuse (such as severe manipulation, isolation, or threats) can cause long-term psychological damage equal to or greater than minor physical acts.
Girl on Dude
Emotional abuse of a male often involves systematic manipulation aimed at controlling or belittling him, causing confusion, fear, and eroded self-worth. Key signs include gaslighting (making him doubt his sanity), extreme controlling behavior, constant humiliation, blaming him for the abuse, and isolating him from support systems.
Abuse by female on male - It could have been worse
Abuse is never acceptable, regardless of who commits it, and telling yourself" it could have been worse" is a way of minimizing pain that matters.
Understanding Male Victimization
Real Impact:
Intimate partner violence causes deep emotional, psychological, and physical harm to men just as it does to anyone else.
Minimizing Pain:
Comparing your situation to a worse scenario does not erase the hurt, fear, or confusion you experienced.
Stigma and Silence:
Men often stay silent due to social pressure, embarrassment, or fear that they will not be believed.
Actually for real it could have been worse!
She could have stabbed me with the knife she was brandishing.
Last Addressed: 20260924-TH-Retro
Predisposition - Does abuse as a child set you up for abuse later in life?
Yes, child abuse can make a person more likely to face abuse later in life, such as intimate partner violence or repeat victimization. Key factors include complex trauma, learned relationship patterns, and changes in how people spot danger.
Why It Happens
Learned behaviors:
Children may view unhealthy control as normal.
Lower boundaries:
Past trauma can make it hard to spot red flags in new relationships.
Coping methods:
High stress from early abuse can lead to coping habits that increase vulnerability.
Breaking the Cycle
Therapy:
Professional care helps process old pain and build safety skills.
Support groups:
Talking with others who survived abuse offers strength and guidance.
Safe spaces:
Learning what healthy love and respect feel like.
Examples of Gals (Females) I had Solid Boundaries With
While with Joan 1998-2018
Claire Kitchens
Darlene G. in hospital
Denise Cuellar
Heather Rink
Jessica Reynolds (Questionable)
Joan’s Vickie
Judy Adams
Karla Perez
Kathleen Murray
Latonya Tingstad
Laura Adams
Lisa Becker
Lyn of Irvine
Martha Gil
Nele
Patti Pettit
Ravinder P Singh (Questionable)
Roxanne @ WTRC
Ruth
Vickie Arsi
Examples of Gals (Females) I had/have Solid Boundaries With
Before Joan (1998)
Debbie Moore
Elaine Doyle
Heather Morgan
Janet Whedon
Jodi Rombotis
Katie Morrison
Kerry Bucher
Kristy Bucher
Lanaii Kline
Leanna Kielian
Milinda J. Lommer
Renee Bas
Sonia Sanchez
Tara Mann
Terry Roach
Lived Experiences
Brandish Knives – Context of Joan
Brandishing means showing the weapon, or exhibiting it to another person, “in a rude, angry or threatening manner” or using it in a “fight or quarrel.” One does not need to point the weapon at the other person. In fact, the other person does not even need to see the weapon for this crime to take place.
Name Calling – Context of Joan
Name-calling is a form of argument in which insulting or demeaning labels are directed at an individual or group. This phenomenon is studied by a variety of academic disciplines such as anthropology, child psychology, and political science. It is also studied in rhetoric and a variety of other disciplines.
Bastard – Called me this at least twice
The term "bastard" has several meanings, including a literal one referring to a child born out of wedlock, and a figurative one used as an insult or to describe something of inferior quality. The literal meaning is based on historical social norms regarding marriage and legitimacy.
Frustration - Breaking Rules with Cat
Joan would let her cat run free when they went out to walk the property, Pasadena Village in Tustin. This violated the “all pets on leash” property policy. I brought this to her attention. I moved out in 2007. I was just looking out for her after I moved out so she would not get evicted. In the end she did get evicted [2009 October]. I helped her move.
Too Much Coca Cola – Joan ID’d herself as a Coca Cola Addict
Drinking too much Coca-Cola can have negative impacts on your health, including increased risk of type 2 diabetes, heart disease [she was treated for this], tooth decay, and bone weakening. It can also lead to weight gain, kidney problems, and even affect mental health.
FAQ - Is dementia a mental health issue?
Is Coca Cola associated with dementia?
Yes, studies have found associations between the frequent consumption of soft drinks, including both regular and diet variants, and an increased risk of dementia.
Mono-diet of Joan – Chicken and Barley
Understanding mono diets and the chicken and barley combination. A mono-diet, also known as a mono-trophic diet, involves eating only one type of food for a specific period. While this approach may seem appealing for its simplicity and the promise of quick weight loss, experts caution against it due to several potential health risks.
Cooking
In her words “I am never cooking for a man”.
Theft & Intimacy (Written by Buster)
While living together in 2006 Joan stole my camcorder. She lost our common money for doing things special. She lost track of time and could not tell you what day it was. She irritated me on how she mixed our food in the refrigerator and blocked out the disposal side of the sink. In the deal to live together I gave her master bedroom. When the time came she buried Ms. Bunny Rabbit—I thank her for that. In order to get me in the moment we chartered Red Panty Day. If I came home, usually from work, and saw red panties out that meant she wanted to make love. I was on call 24/7 helping start up a family business. Eventually I had all four: Work, home-life, family, and sleep working against me.
Summary--Results for Types of Violence (TVA) 10 Items
DV = Domestic Violence | KET = Buster | MSO = Most Significant Other | LSF = Low Scores are Favorable
See table with calculations further on
Note: 20160930-F: Net Result – Indications that my MSO does not “Trust” me as much anymore.
Outcome
Sensitivity – Frustration – Disappointment
High sensitivity amplifies emotional wiring, making minor setbacks feel intensely personal. This heightened awareness creates a low tolerance for friction, quickly turning unmet expectations into sharp frustration and a heavy sense of disappointment when reality fails to align with hope.
Distrust
…is a lack of confidence, faith, or trust in a person, group, or system. It is the feeling that someone is not honest or that their motives are harmful.
Assessment Related Codes (Acronyms)
In House > Metadata >
RelatingJZ…
Most Significant Other – Routine Harmony
Building routine harmony with your significant other relies on small, daily habits that turn ordinary moments into strong emotional connections.
Key Practices for Routine Harmony
Daily Check-ins:
Spend 15 to 30 minutes each week—or a few minutes each day—talking without distractions like phones.
Unplugged Quality Time:
Put away electronics to give your partner your full and undivided attention.
Shared Rituals:
Turn basic tasks into meaningful habits, like walking together, sharing a coffee in bed, or going to sleep at the same time.
Express Appreciation:
Say thank you, leave short notes, or notice small efforts so your partner feels valued.
Team Mentality:
Approach disagreements as a joint problem to solve ("us versus the issue") rather than a contest to win.
Active Listening:
Listen to understand your partner's feelings instead of planning your respons
Aside > In House > Metadata >
20141113 Notes - Things to Consider
Domestic Violence and the Male Victim
To fully address the issue each section in reference document needs to be read before scoring. Keep in order addressed in reference document. Like a Substance Abuse Assessment consider a timeframe of “Ever”.
20141130: Notion to investigate
The notion to investigate girl on dude violence came to me while hearing out a friend (dude) about the behaviors of his wife.
Violence Resolution Score 15 Items (HSF)
Results of Violence and Related (Resolution on 20160911-SUN)
Start 20150829-F: Solutions & Closure (Uneducated Brainstorm)
Buster Resolving Violence in MSOE Relationship
Due to dementia she moved to Colorado in 2016 to be taken care of by her daughter
Violence & Closure 13 Items Score (HSF)
Results of Violence and Related (Resolution on 20160911-SUN)
20150829-F: Solutions & Closure (Uneducated Brainstorm)
Buster rates self after Joan is gone
Note: Observations beginning when we lived together (2005-2006).
Key Translator
Scoring
Marginal and assumed are considered YESES
Level of Violence 10 Items (LSF)
DOA: 20150828-F:
Evidence beginning when we lived together (2005-2006)
Last 3 years = 2013-2015
Girl on Dude Impact 13 Items (LSF)
Last 3 years = 2013-2015
Table – After violence has been determined: What to expect as a result of being at the receiving end. (*) Most Significant Other as the perpetrator
Definitions
Psychosomatic Symptoms
A psychosomatic disorder is a disease that involves both mind and body. Some physical diseases are thought to be particularly prone to be made worse by mental factors such as stress and anxiety.
Fatigue fits best - AI Overview
The statement "Fatigue fits best" likely refers to the concept that fatigue is a broad symptom that can be caused by a variety of underlying conditions, rather than a specific disease itself. It suggests that fatigue is a common experience that can be associated with many different health issues.
Disempowerment
To deprive of power, authority, or influence: make weak, ineffectual, or unimportant.
Ineffectual fits best
The word "ineffectual" means not producing the proper or intended effect. It implies a sense of weakness, futility, or inadequacy in bringing about a desired outcome.
FYI - Apply Mixed Emotions Tool
The "Mixed Emotions" tool, often involving a deck of cards, helps individuals identify, understand, and manage their emotions, particularly when dealing with complex or conflicting feelings. It aids in decision-making, problem-solving, and conflict resolution by clarifying inner states and prompting self-reflection.
The Mixed Emotions card deck, created by Petra Martin and illustrated by Kris Wiltse, is a 77-card physical and digital tool designed to help people name feelings, solve problems, and make tough choices by turning abstract emotional states into concrete, scannable words and art.
How the Deck is Structured
60 Emotion Cards:
Vividly illustrated cards featuring specific positive and negative emotional states.
12 Instruction Cards:
Prompts and guided ideas on how to sort and use the physical cards.
5 Blank Cards:
Customizable spaces to write or draw your own personal feelings.
Support Gear:
Includes a small carry bag and an instruction booklet.
Core Uses and Benefits
Naming Feelings:
Gives you exact words for messy or hidden moods.
Better Choices:
Clears your mind when you feel stuck or stressed about a big decision.
Conflict Help:
Shows you multiple viewpoints during arguments at home or work.
Talk Aid:
Used widely by coaches, teachers, and therapists to help people who struggle to speak.
FYI – AI - If you'd like, I can share: Specific examples of how to do a 3-card emotional check-in. Where to buy or access the physical/digital deck. Tips for using similar emotional regulation tools. Let me know how you want to proceed!
Cognitive Behavioral Targeting Abuse Score 13 Items (LSF)
1st scored 2017
DOA = Date of Assessment: 20150828-F:
Abuse Impact Score 15 Items (LSF)
Scored for Joan by Keith “Buster” Torkelson, MS
FWR = For Whole Relationship (1998-2018) | SW = Shared with Joan 2005-2006
Photo of Audrey
Unexpected Support
For getting over my domestic violence troubles and trauma I have been trying to get over my trauma and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) for years. For this study I find unexpected support such as by the Dyn Project.
Domestic Violence – Male Victims
Domestic violence affects men as well as women, although it is often perceived as a female victim issue. Studies indicate that men experience domestic violence at significant rates, with some data suggesting a near 50/50 split between male and female victims. Despite these figures, men often face unique challenges in reporting or accessing support due to societal stigma and gendered expectations.
FYI - The Dyn Project: Supporting Men Experiencing Domestic Abuse (93 Pages)
PDF by AL Robinson · 2006 · Cited by 25
Alternate Source – The Dyn Project
Introduction
This chapter introduces the reader to the Dyn Project after describing the relevant background and policy context surrounding the provision of a service to men experiencing domestic abuse. The literature on heterosexual men’s experiences of domestic abuse is reviewed before proceeding to a discussion of the challenges of screening these relationships to identify the injured party and alleged perpetrator. The chapter concludes by presenting the ‘Cardiff Model’ for working with men, which includes five guiding principles which are essential to effective work with men experiencing domestic abuse.
Working with Men: The Cardiff Model
The Dyn Project developed within a multi-agency framework (Robinson, 2003) that focuses on risk assessment, increasing safety and reducing risk to women, men and their children, and holding those who use violence and abuse accountable. Given what has been discussed in terms of heterosexual men, as well as screening, the following concepts informed the design of the Dyn Project for men experiencing domestic abuse: While men experience domestic abuse, it remains a gendered phenomenon. That is, a greater number of women than men will experience domestic abuse and with a greater severity.
Guiding Principles – Dyn Project
Consequently, the Dyn Project’s approach is based on five guiding principles which are essential to effective work with men experiencing domestic abuse:
Violence
We extracted some material from the reference document. We focus on abuse on male or men perpetrated by their female partners. The reference material here indicates that women are abused far more frequently than are men yet earlier in the paper we referenced those that say in reality it could be 50/50. The Dyn project focuses on accountability and victimization. Our intent is to minimize harm while putting closure on the information provided here. If we were younger we would probably hire a therapist yet for now these papers that we write on the topic violence and victimization are what we will rely on to move forward past some of these memories. The context is a close personal relationship. Of the five types of abuse: Physical, emotional, psychological, sexual or financial we focus on emotional and psychological. In short our Most Significant Other brandished a knife, lost some of our property, called us a name, accused us of being with another gal, lost some of our common money, and she stole something from us. Her counter-allegations are unavailable to us. On several occasions she scored us high on our virtues (BSA) assessment with high being favorable.
At Pasadena
Let’s start with a good thing - coffee maker gift from Joan. In the back center of the photo are two (2) Butcher’s Block’s: Dark handles are Buster’s and Tan handles are Joan’s. After Joan brandished a knife Buster gathered them all together and put them in a drawer. He labeled it knives. Before he moved out (2006-2007) he threw most of his cutlery away. The brandishing of knives was extra traumatic because Buster had a history that included witnessing his older brothers in a knife fight. It occurred sometime before he was ten years old. Until recently we did not know it was against the law to brandish knives.
Interventions
A clear screening protocol is essential in order to identify, and respond appropriately, to counter-allegations. This is intended to ensure that interventions are designed (in partnership with other agencies) to reduce risk and increase safety for men, their former or current partners and any children, as well as holding perpetrators accountable.
Safety
Any service must have the capacity to risk assess referrals in order to identify those who are most at risk of experiencing abuse in the future. This will ensure that services are consummate to need and that resources (within the criminal justice system and domestic abuse sector) can be targeted appropriately to reduce risk and increase safety for men, their former or current partners and any children.
Collaboration
Work with men who have experienced domestic abuse must take place within a multi-agency setting. This setting must include an Information Sharing Protocol between key agencies to facilitate the screening of counter-allegations so that risk can be reduced and safety increased for men, their former or current partners and any children.
Aside - Types of Delusions
A delusion is a fixed, false belief that a person holds onto despite clear evidence that it is not true.
Common Types of Delusions
Paranoid or Persecutory Delusions:
The belief that you are being spied on, harassed, cheated, or targeted for harm by a person, group, or organization.
Grandiose Delusions:
The belief that you possess exceptional power, great talent, immense wealth, or a special connection to a deity or famous figure.
Somatic Delusions:
The belief that something is physically wrong with your body, such as a severe illness, a missing organ, or strange internal sensations.
Erotomanic Delusions:
The belief that another person—often a celebrity or someone of higher social status—is deeply in love with you.
Delusional Jealousy:
The unshakable belief that your romantic partner is being unfaithful, even with zero proof.
Delusions of Reference:
The belief that random, neutral everyday events or public messages (like a sign or a song on the radio) are directly addressed or targeted specifically at you.
Bizarre Delusions:
Beliefs that are completely implausible and physically impossible according to the laws of normal life, such as believing an alien has replaced your internal organs.
FYI – AI - You can learn more about clinical definitions and support resources through the National Institute of Mental Health.
Mistaken Belief Score 8 Item Screener
Scored by and for Keith “Buster” Torkelson, MS, BS
LSF = Low scores are Favorable | RT = Real Time | SW = Share(d) with
Erotomanic
Erotomania is a rare mental health condition where a person holds a fixed, false belief that another person—often a celebrity, public figure, or someone of higher status—is deeply in love with them. Also known as de Clérambault's syndrome, it is classified in the DSM-5 as a subtype of delusional disorder.
Note: I would pick Alexis Payne to be deeply in love with me
Aside PUT = Poena Universalis Terminalis
"Poena Universalis Terminalis" translates from Latin as "The Universal, Final Punishment" (or Terminal Universal Penalty).
While it sounds like an ancient legal decree or a theological concept, it is not a standard historical Latin phrase or recognized legal doctrine from antiquity. Instead, it is a grammatically structured modern formulation combining three distinct Latin roots:
Poena:
The Latin word for "penalty," "punishment," or "retribution". In Roman mythology, Poena was the personification of punishment and an attendant to Nemesis. It is the root of the English words subpoena, penal, and pain.
Universalis:
Meaning "universal," "all-encompassing," or "pertaining to the whole."
Terminalis:
Meaning "final," "boundary-marking," or "pertaining to an end or limit" (derived from terminus).
Possible Contexts
Because this exact phrase does not appear in classical literature or historical law books, it is most frequently used or encountered in:
Fiction and Worldbuilding:
It is often used as a dramatic name for an ultimate spell, an apocalyptic event, an execution decree, or a sci-fi superweapon in video games, or fantasy novels.
Theological or Philosophical Symbolism:
It can be used to describe the concept of a final, inescapable judgment or absolute mortality—the ultimate end that applies universally to all living things.
Afterlife
Being with your loved one in heaven
Most Christian traditions teach that believers will reunite and recognize their family and friends in heaven, sharing a joyful and eternal life together.
Biblical and Traditional Views
Recognition:
Scripture suggests people keep their personal identity and recognize others, just as figures like Moses and Elijah were known during the Transfiguration.
Comfort in Grief:
Passages like 1 Thessalonians 4:17-18 note that believers will be gathered together with the Lord and each other forever, offering hope to those who mourn.
Different Perspectives:
Opinions on the exact timing and nature of this reunion vary; some groups on platforms like Reddit and Quora have mixed opinions, with some expecting an immediate heavenly reunion and others anticipating a future resurrection on a new Earth.
Science behind Heaven
Science does not have proof of a physical place called heaven, but researchers study near-death experiences, brain chemistry, and consciousness to understand why people report divine realms.
Neurological and Biological Explanations
Brain Shutdown:
Oxygen loss to the brain and the dying of brain cells can cause bright lights, peace, and vivid visions.
Chemical Floods:
High amounts of natural body chemicals, like endorphins or DMT, can create dream-like states near death.
Psychological and Consciousness Studies
Near-Death Experiences (NDEs):
Some researchers study reports of peace and tunnels, though opinions on whether this shows life after death are mixed.
State of Mind:
Some scientific and philosophical views treat heaven not as a physical location, but as a mental state of deep peace or harmony.
Psychosis and Heaven
Religious or spiritual content during psychosis often involves themes of heaven, hell, divine missions, or cosmic significance.
Understanding Religious Psychosis
Definition:
This is not a standalone diagnosis, but a state where psychotic symptoms—like delusions or hallucinations—feature strong spiritual or religious themes.
Common Experiences:
People may believe they are communicating directly with God, have special divine status, or are experiencing heaven or hell.
Perceptual Shifts:
Psychological perspectives suggest that intense, overwhelming states of mind can blur the lines between perceived terror (hell) and profound ecstasy or peace (heaven).
Theological and Clinical Views
Salvation:
Major religious traditions generally view mental illness with compassion, teaching that cognitive or psychiatric conditions do not block a person's spiritual worth or standing with God.
Distinction:
Clinicians distinguish between healthy, grounded mystical or religious faith and clinical psychosis, which significantly impairs a person's ability to function and distinguish reality.
FYI – AI - Would you like to explore: The difference between spiritual experiences and clinical delusions? How mental health professionals approach religious themes in treatment?
Domestic Violence and Minors
Minor domestic violence involves abusive or threatening actions between family members or teen dating partners where one or both individuals are under 18.
How It Is Handled
Juvenile Court:
Cases involving minor offenders are typically handled in the juvenile justice system rather than adult criminal court.
Scope of Relationships:
It covers conflicts between youth and their parents, siblings, or household members, as well as teen dating violence.
Types of Abuse:
Actions can include physical force, emotional intimidation, or property destruction.
Legal Context and Consequences
Charges:
Depending on the severity and state laws (such as in California Domestic Violence Laws), actions can lead to delinquency petitions, misdemeanor-equivalent charges, or enhanced penalties if younger children are endangered or witness the abuse.
Rehabilitation:
The juvenile system generally focuses on counseling, probation, and family intervention rather than incarceration.
Transitional-aged Youth and Domestic Violence
Domestic violence and intimate partner violence significantly disrupt the development, mental health, and life trajectories of transitional-aged youth (typically ages 16–24).
Mental Health and Emotional Distress
Internalizing & Externalizing Issues:
Youth exposed to domestic violence face higher risks of depression, severe anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and emotional dysregulation.
Trauma and Hypervigilance:
Ongoing exposure leads to chronic stress, flashbacks, nightmares, and a constant state of threat-response or hypervigilance.
Substance Use:
Emotional distress frequently drives coping mechanisms that involve alcohol, drug use, or self-harm behaviors.
Precocious (Accelerated) Transitions to Adulthood
Rushed Milestones:
Childhood and adolescent exposure to parental intimate partner violence increases the likelihood of early sexual initiation, early marriage, early full-time employment, high school dropout, and early parenthood.
Economic Instability:
Experiencing dating or domestic violence during late adolescence and early adulthood lowers educational attainment, reduces job stability, and increases long-term financial hardship.
Relational and Social Impacts
Intergenerational Cycles:
Youth who witness or experience domestic violence often struggle with insecure attachment styles, trust deficits, and difficulties establishing healthy boundaries in peer or romantic relationships.
Dating Violence Risk:
Exposure increases the statistical probability of either perpetrating or re-experiencing intimate partner violence during young adulthood. For instance, studies highlight that roughly 20% of former foster youth experience intimate partner violence by age 23–24 due to early cumulative trauma.
Academic and Cognitive Consequences
Impaired Functioning:
Trauma affects executive functioning, concentration, memory, and problem-solving skills.
Disengagement:
Chronic stress leads to high school or college absenteeism, lower grade point averages (GPAs), and academic disengagement.
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